Monday, October 28, 2019

The safer path

We often choose the safer path.

The one that protects us from emotional pain
and offers short-term pleasure over long-term gain.
The one with fewer challenges and less suspense
and with lower hills and recompense.

Regret is the reward at the end of the safer path.

Things we talked about doing

We talked about trips together
to Wright’s Falling Waters,
Gettysburg and Valley Forge,
the Baseball Hall of Fame,
the Rock and Roll Museum,
the National Museum of Illustration,
the Smithsonian Air and Space Museums,
sleeping on Mount Washngton,
and staying at the Caboose Motel.

We made it to the Baseball Hall of Fame
before you died on me, Brian.

Revision

He has rewritten the history of his life
so many times in his mind
that he no longer trusts his own memory.

Has he ever been honest with anyone?
Was he a good parent?
Was puberty as depressing as he remembers?
Did his second-grade teacher really dislike him?
Has he ever been happy with himself?
Is he a success or a failure?

The truth eludes him.

Sunday, October 27, 2019

Eulogy for Krissie













In the spring of 1966, I found myself on stage with the Beach Boys at a sold-out concert at the Boston Garden. It’s still one of the most memorable experiences of my life.

The exact chronology is a little fuzzy after 55 years, but the story begins with my younger sister, Krissie.

During the summer of 1962, Krissie spent several weeks with her cousin, Cindy, at Nantasket Beach in Hull, Massachusetts when an up-and-coming California band was playing at the old Surf Ballroom. They met the group, and Krissie started a long-distance friendship with one of the band members.

When she returned home, Krissie began calling Carl Wilson in California and talking with him on the phone for hours every day. A family crisis arose when a $600 long-distance phone bill came in the mail.

As you can probably guess, our father was not pleased. Our regular phone bill back then was probably $20 a month. He paid the bill but groused about it for years afterward.

The phone calls ended, but my sister’s passion for the Beach Boys didn’t. She bought all their records. She collected scores of magazines articles. Each time they performed in New England, Krissie finagled a way to attend their concerts. At 13, she wasn’t old enough to go by herself, but she convinced our parents that her older brother was a dependable chaperone.

Over the next 3 years, my wife and I attended 2 or 3 Beach Boys concerts a year. Krissie got free tickets for us to most of them, and we often ended up back at their hotel after the shows. We even brought our son, Brian, to meet them at Hampton Beach, New Hampshire when he was less than a year old.

It was my first exposure to a celebrity lifestyle that was both fascinating and overwhelming. Carl Wilson was not much older than Krissie. He was the youngest member of the group and a quiet, sensitive and talented young man who was overshadowed by his prolific older brother, Brian. He and my sister spent many hours talking.

The older members of the group, two of whom were Carl’s brothers, were into partying. Their hotel rooms were always full of groupies and hangers-on. Money was no object, and there was a never-ending supply of willing girls, alcohol and eventually drugs. The only supervision these five teenagers had was a road manager who seemed to spend most of his time bedding young groupies, too. It was a real eye-opener for me.

The last time we saw the Beach Boys play, Krissie and I went to the concert at Boston Garden. My wife was very pregnant with our daughter, so she stayed home. We met Carl at the hotel before the concert and went to the Garden with the band.

The Beach Boys were the biggest American band at the time, and the Garden was packed with 14,000 screaming fans. We were given chairs at the back of the stage and sat there for the whole show. Krissie was in heaven. I was in awe. The overwhelming adulation of their fans was something I had never before experienced.

The lifestyle took its toll, however, and the Beach Boys stopped touring soon after that. Drugs and legal disputes splintered the band.

Krissie and her husband, Dan, attended a reunion concert some years later. Dan was able to get a security person to pass a note to Carl, but they were unable to meet him. Carl and his brother, Dennis, have since passed away.

I always admired my sister’s determination. She was stubborn, opinionated and passionate in her beliefs. She was generous to a fault with both family and friends. She was a dedicated geriatric nurse. But the thing I will remember most about her is her love of the Beach Boys.

Krissie was one of a kind.

I wrote this for a memorial service for my sister following her recent death from cancer.

Saturday, September 21, 2019

Fossil Fuel Gluttony

You smugly speed by me on the interstate
in your Hemi-powered RAM 1500 towing
a trailer laden with snowmobiles in the winter
and ATVs in the summer.

Your gluttonous mechanical entourage
consumes a gallon of precious fossil fuel
every 10 miles at 80 miles per hour and spews
13 grams of carbon monoxide per mile.

And that’s just to get you where you can
waste more fossil fuel and spew more
carbon monoxide into the atmosphere
to indulge your selfish amusement.

How will you explain this
to your great-grandchildren?

Courage

Courage is not a competition.
There are no winners or losers.

Courage is not comparative.
It’s not whether you have more
than the next person.

Courage is how you face
your particular challenges.
It’s how you deal with
what life throws your way.

Courage is crying and anger
and failure and heartache.
Courage is coping and surviving
when all seems lost.

You have no more or less courage
than your neighbor.
We are all only human.

The politics of fear vs. the fear of politics

Has the American public been so traumatized
by the politics of fear that it has developed
a fear of politics?

Will voters suffer from political PTSD
in the voting booth?

Cash Crops

Early American plantation owners
made huge profits using cheap
slave labor to produce cotton.

But they had another more lucrative crop.
They bred those slaves like animals
to produce more slaves to sell.

Friday, September 20, 2019

Too Late

How will we know when it’s too late
to save the bees?
How will we know when it’s too late
to save the wolves?
How will we know when it’s too late
to save our environment?
How will you know when it’s too late
to save your grandchildren?

Monday, September 2, 2019

Blind Fear

We’re afraid.
Afraid to think
the mighty United States
could actually be taken over
by a small group of people
who want to use it
for personal gain.

We’re scared.
Scared to admit
our sacred democracy
could be hijacked by oligarchs
who are only interested
in increasing their own
wealth and power.

We’re frightened.
Frightened to believe
there are Americans
who care only
about their grandchildren
and don’t care if ours
are left out of the
American dream.